Wednesday, 2/25/2015
Now after gauging some responses both implicit and explicit, I just wanted to first further clarify my last post.
Now after gauging some responses both implicit and explicit, I just wanted to first further clarify my last post.
The negative attitudes about adoption that I wrote about there are not my own, which are quite different and extremely positive. I was, however, unaware of many of those negative aspects about adoption until this past week so I wanted to inform you all about it too, and just because I don't feel that way does not mean that it's not important or that others legitimately do feel that way. Moreover, there is a growing and very vocal anti-adoption movement here in Korea and therefore most of the literature I had access to for writing the last post was along that bent.
That being said, it is important to remember that there is a reason that most people's innate connotations to the word "adoption" are positive ones. So while I don't believe ignoring the bad for the sake of the good is ever acceptable, I also think I didn't highlight the good well enough in my last post.
As I mentioned previously, the international adoption of South Korean children started in 1953 to find families for those children left orphaned or fathered by Western GIs in the Korean War. Most early efforts were organized by evangelical Christians, the first of which was the Holt family. Other organizations without religious affiliations, both in Korea and the US also cropped up shortly thereafter. All were founded as non-profits and I genuinely believe that at the outset they believed in their mission to create families from disparate souls, love from loneliness.
Over time though, some organizations, most notably Holt, lost their way, fixated instead on placing as many children with waiting Western families as fast as possible, by sometimes questionable means, and making a substantial amount of money (Holt owns a 30-story corporate building here in Seoul) in the process (the term "non-profit" or federal tax-exempt 501(c)(3) designation for charitable organizations unfortunately does not mean what we believe it to mean and these organizations can amass considerable wealth by both legal means granted within the 501(c)(3) stipulations and by "massaging" their bookkeeping a bit).
However, many organizations, including, for instance, the (now closed) agency that handled my adoption, Korean Social Service--a non-profit, partially federally funded organization that placed over 20,000 Korean children--continued to adhere to their initial mission and maintain ethical practices. These organizations screen biological families (pre- or post-partum) ensuring that they truly want to give their child up for adoption, are aware of other alternatives and social support services, offer non-coercive counseling services, obstetrical care, legal advice, and allow for a long grace period after the adoption process has started for the biological parents to change their mind. On the adoptive parents side, the process is even more selective and rigorous and involves detailed background checks, analysis of finances, multiple letters of recommendation, house visits by social services, and at least one visit to the child's birth country. Additionally, ongoing counseling and support services should be offered to biological parents, helping them to manage the long-term psychological effects of relinquishment, and post-adoption services should also be available to the child, if she or he becomes interested in learning more about their adoption and biological family later in life. All this is done to ensure that the adoption is a fully-informed, fully-consensual choice made by both families in order to give the child the best possible future.
Over time though, some organizations, most notably Holt, lost their way, fixated instead on placing as many children with waiting Western families as fast as possible, by sometimes questionable means, and making a substantial amount of money (Holt owns a 30-story corporate building here in Seoul) in the process (the term "non-profit" or federal tax-exempt 501(c)(3) designation for charitable organizations unfortunately does not mean what we believe it to mean and these organizations can amass considerable wealth by both legal means granted within the 501(c)(3) stipulations and by "massaging" their bookkeeping a bit).
However, many organizations, including, for instance, the (now closed) agency that handled my adoption, Korean Social Service--a non-profit, partially federally funded organization that placed over 20,000 Korean children--continued to adhere to their initial mission and maintain ethical practices. These organizations screen biological families (pre- or post-partum) ensuring that they truly want to give their child up for adoption, are aware of other alternatives and social support services, offer non-coercive counseling services, obstetrical care, legal advice, and allow for a long grace period after the adoption process has started for the biological parents to change their mind. On the adoptive parents side, the process is even more selective and rigorous and involves detailed background checks, analysis of finances, multiple letters of recommendation, house visits by social services, and at least one visit to the child's birth country. Additionally, ongoing counseling and support services should be offered to biological parents, helping them to manage the long-term psychological effects of relinquishment, and post-adoption services should also be available to the child, if she or he becomes interested in learning more about their adoption and biological family later in life. All this is done to ensure that the adoption is a fully-informed, fully-consensual choice made by both families in order to give the child the best possible future.
This may sound a bit like back pedaling, but the only people to whom I've given direct access to this blog are those that I feel quite close to (unless you slipped through my rigorous screening system), and it was anything but my intent to confuse or hurt the feelings of those most important to me.
Sometimes I get caught up in my journalistic yarn and Ann Arbor-nurtured social liberalism and do a rather poorer job than I should obviously distinguishing my own attitudes and experiences from the ideas that I'm trying to convey. But make no mistake, I am wordlessly grateful and fiercely proud of my own amazing family and the incredible friends (irrespective of race) that I've met as a result of my adoption, and there aren't enough numbers for how lucky I count myself.
Adoption is still something I might be interested in doing myself, and it is only increased awareness of the issues surrounding adoption that will ensure they happen in a way that is truly best for everyone. So remain skeptical and do your research, but if you're looking for evidence that adoption brings a little more happiness, harmony, and love into the world--I hope you needn't look any further than my family.
Tuesday, 1/17/2015
The next several posts will probably be decidedly less heavy, and to that end, it's time to tell you about my trip to 노량진 수산시장, Noryangjin Fish Market.
This place was pretty high on my list of places to visit, as I'm a huge sashimi fan, and there's literally no place to get fresher raw fish than Korean and Japanese fish markets. After a lengthy subway ride and a roundabout walk to take us by the parliament building,
we gave up trying to navigate the city by foot and cabbed the rest of the way to the market (which is much cheaper in Korea).
Walking through the entrance, the space opens up into row upon row of brightly lit booths advertising their wares with bold signs and bolder (not too offensive) smells.
Every type of seafood you'd expect and many you've never imagined can be seen laid out on sloping iced displays or swimming around small, crowded tanks--blurring Noryangjin's identity somewhere between market and aquarium.
The invertebrate selection included pen shells, abalones, scallops, multiple kinds of clams, snails, sea pineapple seasquirts, shrimps, crabs, lobsters, squid, octopuses (not octopi), sea cucumbers, peanut worms (worth a google), and more.
A woman butchering, you guessed it, hongeohoe for putrefication.
PTSD.
We wandered for a good while, fascinated by the incredible diversity of offerings, clumsily dodging vendors' attempts to draw us into a sale. That is, until we decided it was time for the freshest sashimi we've ever had, and in this context, fresh means from tank to table, swimming in the water to swimming in soy sauce and wasabi.
We chose a vendor with healthy looking fish, picked out a flounder and mullet, two white-fleshed seasonal Korean specialties; the fishmonger scooped them out of the tank, and very suddenly, very unexpectedly, and very violently bludgeoned them in the head with what I can only describe as a "murder stick"--a large wooden club with a sharp spike sticking out perpendicularly at one end, as seen here:
^Murder stick.
Though I was initially unprepared for that, I recovered quickly enough as the fishmonger began to clean, gut, and fillet the fish. He was extremely deft with the filleting knife and after just a few minutes we had a huge plate of sashimi. We took our prize upstairs where you can pay a fee and they give you side dishes and cook the bones of the filleted fish into a spicy soup.
Our fish--I didn't name them because I'd get too attached.
And boom--turned into sashimi all for 35,000 won ($34).
Yessssssss.
The spicy fish soup made from the leftover parts of the two fish. We used the hot broth as a shabu shabu pot as well to par cook some of the slices of sashimi--so freakin good.
And just for fun, not for the squeamish:
So that fish more than made up for the hongeohoe and was easily one of the best dining experiences I've ever had. If you ever are able to make it to a big fish market that offers this service, I highly, highly recommend you spring for it--it's not only unbelievably fresh and delicious, but also quite an experience in and of itself to see it prepared.
That being said, it was a bit of a bummer to see all the fishes and other miscellaneous edible sea creatures at Noryangjin, so in remembrance of their delicious, if oftentimes strange sacrifice, please enjoy this Sarah McLachlan-accompanied photo tribute to the fish and invertebrates of Noryangjin market:
Play here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pvf_OBuJVE
These beautiful skates.
The majestic monkfish.
The elegant this dude.
Every day, at Noryangjin fish market, thousands of fish and clams are killed and eaten.
Sometimes even octopuses.
They're crying out for help, just wishing for someone to love them.
The pain and anguish in their faces is all too real.
For just $18 per month, that's only 60 cents per day,
you can help provide these poor souls with food, shelter,
and love.
Please call now.
If you call or join online within the next 30 minutes,
we'll provide you with a welcome kit with a picture of a hagfish, sea pineapple ascidian, or peanut worm that's been given a second chance. Because of you.
Right now, there's a sea cucumber or Russian king crab who needs you. Please call, right now.
Cheers,
Mark
Updates and Things:
Minook caught Entei: (2/18) in his Pokemon game, which if you didn't know, is kind of a big deal. His ensuing celebration startled Li-zhao and he quickly realized he had momentarily dropped his too-cool composure and regained it. Too bad he was wearing his fluffy bunny slippers.
New Flatmates: (2/19) we got two new flatmates last week, Li-zhao, who is a student from Hong Kong here to study finance at Yonsei University. She is generally sweet and quiet, and enjoys wiggling, running away from us in the morning before she's put on makeup, and quietly making death threats when I make fun of her. Mike is a student from DC also here studying at Yonsei and is, as Grace described, exactly what she expected Americans to be like. He arrived here in a Captain America t-shirt, talks a bit too much (in an endearing way), and kind of fills the little brother role in the house, though he was principally to thank for getting the rest of our drunk asses home in one piece last night.
Hongeohoe breath:
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